For many years, I modelled.

I have worked with brands such as Burberry as well as Debenhams and GHD. I have walked at London Fashion week several times.

I have undereaten, for a substantial proportion of my late teenage and early adult life.  

When I modelled, the standard requirements for models were to be at least 5’8 with hips under 35 inches. I was just over 5’9, with a 24 inch waist, but my hips were 36” – not good enough.  At 23, my BMI was 18 – bordering underweight. BMI is generally a good indicator of health but it didn’t tell the tale of what was going on inside my mind.

I was already pretty miserable due to a number of factors in my life making me feel as though I was a failure, but getting thinner was something I was good at.

I have never been so lean in my adult life, but all I saw in the mirror was wide hips.

My modelling agency told me I should increase my HIIT sessions. They also reminded me that because I had been weight training in the gym, I had added inches of ‘unnecessary muscle’ to my hips. If you follow me on Instagram you know I implore women to weight train. Women are often scared of looking ‘bulky,’ this seems to be a huge barrier for the increased uptake of female weight training. However, women are most at risk of developing health issues such as osteoporosis, the risk of which would be significantly reduced by exercise, especially weight training. Moreover, sufficient muscle strength has been found to be a predictor of life expectancy!

In my desperate attempt to lose any kind of muscle I had developed, I turned to my agency for guidance. One booker instructed me, to ‘never squat, not even a bodyweight squat’ as these would make my hips bigger. She knew because she was trying to get smaller hips too.  It seemed that almost everyone in the industry was infected with the pervasive desire to be the leanest possible version of themselves.

We are all built differently, everyone has a different skeletal frame. People who are tall, e.g. girls who are over 5’8 tall, usually have a larger frame. For someone to be this tall with such small hips, is incredibly unusual. Some models will be able to maintain this kind of physique in a healthy way, perhaps they are more narrowly framed. Many models will have a completely healthy relationship with food, but they will not be exercising in the healthiest way for their bodies i.e. using resistance when training.

So what does it take to look like a model? It takes either actively being very unhealthy or sacrificing healthier habits in order to maintain a very lean figure.

For those of us who were constantly told that we had what it takes, if we just lost an inch from our hips, I think the relationship we had with diet, exercise and ourselves was incredibly unhealthy. I can say with confidence that many models will suffer from disordered eating habits and very low perceived body image, despite what they may portray.

I speak from personal experience but also the experiences from other models. People often think that modelling is bitchy. The models aren’t the problem, the agencies, designers and casting directors that insist on hiring only the leanest girls, are.

I rarely model anymore. I stopped modelling when I realised it was the final source of my unhappiness. My mental and physical health became more important.

I started to develop what I believe to have been a slight, (completely self-diagnosed), binge eating disorder towards the end of my modelling career. I would work during the day, eating yoghurt and soup but I would binge on excessive take-outs and bourbon biscuits all night. This would usually happen after binge drinking, which living in London in your early 20s, seemed to be the norm, most nights of the week. Another unhealthy habit I am happy to be rid of.

Giving up modelling was truly the beginning of giving up on treating my body like rubbish.

Sometimes I eat unhealthy food, but I eat nutrient dense food 80% of the time. I weight train 4/5 times a week and I understand the energy equation balance I need to hit in order to maintain my still slim, but slightly larger, physique. I understand that I need macro and micro nutrients to live a healthy life. I no longer view my body as something that should be aesthetically pleasing, but rather something that should be happy and healthy.

Treating my body and mind with respect has made me incredibly happy. Happier than booking a show for London fashion week, happier than the identity I had of being the ‘skinny girl.’

I cannot help but feel a great sense of loss when I think of models still working today who are being told to stop weight training and give up carbs. Even more damaging, this kind of misinformed ‘health’ advice has seemed to trickle down into the mainstream. How many times have you heard a friend say I’ll just start running and stop eating carbs? If only women knew how amazing they would feel if they ate the pasta and then picked up the weights.

Nothing has empowered me more than weight training and eating well. Ditching constant cardio, whilst fuelling myself sufficiently, has genuinely changed my life. It has empowered me, toned me, strengthened me – body and mind.

The modelling industry, and beyond, are really missing out on a generation of strong, healthy women, setting healthy examples for the hundreds of people who look up to them.

So what does it take to look like a model? Usually unhealthy habits, and a lot of misery.

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